Why We Tell Our Girls When We’re Pregnant
Every day for the past, oh, three weeks, Pumpkin Doodle has asked at least once a day, “Mom, is the baby still in your tummy?” One day last week, she followed up with, “Maybe God knows that we want him – oops, him or her – to come live with us!”
I’m sure there are people who question our decision to share the news of a new baby with our girls when we have a history of miscarriage, and I wanted to share some of the reasons we did:
1. I’m a pretty open person (you probably figured that out by now, huh?) and I didn’t want to hide my joy from them now or – if our worst fears came true – my grief from them later. I want them to know that emotions are okay, and I want them to see me grieve and struggle and question God and still glorify Him in the end.
2. This is going to sound more callous than I intend, but similar to the way getting a child a fish or other small animal is a gentle way to introduce them to death, I think that our losses have helped our children understand death – and our reaction to it – in an easier way. Although Pumpkin Doodle is excited about a new baby, she’s simply not attached the way she is to the other people in her life.
3. I want them to know that I loved them from the moment I knew about them, and I don’t want them to miss out on seeing my love and happiness and excitement for this baby as well, as a glimpse into the way I felt when I was pregnant with them as well. We did wait about a week after the positive test to tell them because I needed to wait until the barrier around my heart had started to come down for that very reason.
I’m sure there are other reasons, but those are the big three. If you disagree with our decision, I’m cool with that, although I don’t really need to know right now, seeing as how I’m a crazy, hormonal mess and this issue is kind of close to our hearts right now!
Have a great day!
PS. I really do have umpteen projects started…wonder if I’m going to get any of them actually finished so I can show you?!
I think your openness will reap you great benefits along the way. Along with the very good points you made here, it sets a family relationship that it is OK to talk to Mom & Dad about whatever. It makes those teen years a tad more tolerable.
A few months ago, dd brought up the day I was taken by ambulance right before I had our twins. Nineteen years later… she was nearly in tears thinking over that day again. She was 3 1/2+ then. It broke my heart. But I was thankful she could talk to me like that. It was another piece in the memory I needed as well.
Plus soon they’ll be talking to you about those special girl happenings too.
You are a good Mom, Mandi! (((hugs)))
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I think those are all great reasons!!
You are doing what it right for your family=)
Thanks for sharing, people usually share the other way around so it was nice to see this side.
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Ohhh! I love all those reasons…but I have to be honest…I ESPECIALLY love #3. You’re such a wonderful mom!!
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Those are excellent reasons and I do believe they will reap the benefits of your honesty. Not only now but also long term when they are adults and going through their own pregnancies.
I’ve had 3 very early, and 2 other miscarriages around 10 weeks along. I again got pregnant when my son was 3, and I figured that he was old enough to know (esp since he was very bouncy, and kept being too rough on me when I wasn’t feeling well!). We told him that God was making a baby in my tummy, but that sometimes God decides that the time isn’t right, and waits until later to bring us a baby.
What a wonderful teaching opportunity to trust in the Lord, and pray together each night for the safety of the baby. I’m sure many lessons were learned during that time in my little boy’s heart.