As I mentioned on Sunshine Doodle’s birth announcement, her labor and birth wasn’t quite what we had expected, although I can’t really complain about it either.

The plan was to break my water Saturday morning, and we all expected things to progress very quickly based on my history.

We arrived at the hospital at 8:00 a.m. on the dot and were immediately ushered back to a labor & delivery room. We were assigned a nurse, Marianne, and really couldn’t have asked for anyone better to be with us through my labor and Sidney’s birth. She went through the 800 million questions in the computer (the same ones I had already answered twice…) and helped me get into a gown while we waited for Dr. Wade.

Dr. Wade finished her rounds and came to my room at about 9:00 a.m. to break my water, which was uneventful and painless. She told us that she’d be close by and to please let her know when things were getting close. Apparently her last delivery happened so fast that the nurse barely even caught the baby, and she was not looking for a repeat!

I stayed on the monitors for about 30 minutes after the amniotomy while we watched Sidney’s heart rate to see how she would react. During that time, I registered one contraction, and it was then that I began to doubt whether things would go as we had expected.

Finally, with a hep lock in my wrist and wearing plenty of pads to catch the continuing gushes of amniotic fluid, Sean and I set out to make labs around the maternity ward. Our hospital is not very big, and we realized that this was going to be a very boring day if things didn’t pick up quickly!

For about two hours we walked around L&D and the mother-baby unit, and I had maybe 10 contractions during that entire time. I did finally realize that I had more contractions when changing positions — i.e., after squatting or sitting for a few minutes or once I sat down after walking — and so I kept switching things up to try to help the contractions along. The good news was I was still progressing despite the lack of contractions (I was at about  6cm by noon), but it just felt odd to not really have anything regular or predictable.

My sister had a test she couldn’t miss on Saturday morning, and I was really disappointed that she was not going to be able to be at Sidney’s birth, something we had been planning for since we found out I was pregnant. Fortunately, she finished her test early, and when she called to say that she was on her way (but a little bit more than an hour away) at 11:00 a.m., we all started joking that Sidney was just waiting for her to arrive.

Sure enough, about 10 minutes before she showed up, I realized that the contractions were getting stronger and definitely coming every 5 minutes or so.

By the time she had put her stuff in my room and signed some legal releases for the hospital (acknowledging that some people “have adverse reactions to watching someone give birth” — LOL!), the contractions were only about 2-3 minutes apart and definitely stronger.

Lindsay walked with me for maybe 20 more minutes before I decided I was ready to get in the shower, which is my favorite way to cope while in labor. I felt sure that I was approaching transition with as intense as things were getting.

Dr. Wade cleared me to get into the shower with many warnings that I needed to get out in plenty of time if I felt any pressure at all.

Here’s where things started to go “wrong”.  The problem is I have never, ever known when it was time to push. I always wonder if maybe it’s time, but I never feel an urge to push; I just do it when they tell me to.

I was in the shower for maybe 10 minutes when I started to wonder if maybe it was time. I got out (this was about 1:15 p.m., I think) to let Marianne check my cervix, which had only progressed to 7 cms, but she didn’t want me to get back in the shower because of how fast things usually go at the end.

Honestly, I should have insisted on getting back in the shower — and I think she would have agreed if I had — but I didn’t. Things definitely were more intense outside of the shower, even with the assistance of the birthing ball, and 10 minutes later I again started to wonder if it was time to push.

By then, I had progressed to 8cm, and the nurse decided I needed to stay ON the bed (but on my knees or whatever felt good) instead of getting back on the ball. Again, I should have insisted on at least getting back on the birthing ball, but I didn’t.

At this point, I was still smiling and laughing between contractions (although the contractions themselves were requiring me to really focus), but that was about to change.

Dr. Wade came in, and we waited through a few contractions (that quite honestly just didn’t feel right anymore — they had gotten shorter and less intense, but almost more painful) before she decided to check me one more time.

Folks, the words that came out of her mouth are perhaps some of the most discouraging words I have ever heard a doctor say. “Hmm, she’s back down to a 6 now. But I can still stretch it to an 8.”

Yippee.

She asked if I wanted to try to push through a couple contractions to see if we could help things along, and it was quite possibly the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. After a few very unproductive and excruciating tries, she asked if I wanted to try getting back on the ball instead, and I quickly agreed.

Within seconds of getting back on the ball the contractions were intense and productive, and I was having to really, really focus during them.

As a side note, I somehow ended up sitting on the ball at the end of the bed (rather than beside it), and I was able to use the stirrups as handles during contractions as I  kind of rolled around on it. Definitely something I’ll remember for next time (!) because it really made a difference.

At some point, I seriously began to doubt my ability to finish what I had started (as if I had any choice at this point…), and a song popped into my head: “Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. We will wait upon the Lord. We will wait upon the Lord.” I think I must have repeated those lines to myself 100 times during the next 15-20 minutes.

Finally, I said out loud, “I really don’t think I can do this,” to which my husband quickly responded, “Oh, that means it really is time. She always says that.” I just kind of shook my head, as I still didn’t feel the need to push, and Dr. Wade said, “We’re going to trust your husband on this. Let’s get you on the bed.”

Sure enough, I was complete and ready to push, but after the pain of pushing too soon, I was hesitant to even try. However, even though I didn’t feel the need to push, pushing did feel good, and I started pushing with the next contraction. Although it was hard and intense, it felt strangely good too, as if I was finally doing something.

It didn’t take long before everybody was saying they could see Sidney’s head and that it would just be a few more pushes. I started pushing and felt the “ring of fire”, something I’ve never fully experienced because the doctor numbed my perineum the first time and because Monkey Doodle was born in just 3 pushes the second time.

This time, however, it took me 2 full contractions of pushing before her head emerged, and it was definitely the most intense feeling of my life. One more push and her shoulders were out, and anyone who’s given birth knows the instant relief in that moment.

Because I was almost upright as I pushed, I was able to see Sidney right away. She was tiny and still covered in vernix. She didn’t cry a lot but seemed healthy, and her APGARs were 9/9 (the nurse joked that she would have gotten a 10 if she had peed on Dr. Wade!). Finally, once Dr. Wade suctioned her just to be sure, she laid her on my tummy, and the memory of the pain quickly began to fade.

I have to tell you — the nurses and Dr. Wade kept remarking that I was a textbook natural birther and that they couldn’t believe how in control I was during labor and delivery, but it did not feel that way to me at all. To be honest, I was — am? — a little disappointed that I reached the point of even thinking about pain medication. Monkey Doodle’s birth had been so easy and amazing that I’m not sure I fully prepared myself to deal with a longer pushing stage or that it might not  be as perfect this time.

Looking back, it was still a great experience. I am so thankful that Dr. Wade and Marianne were the ones attending Sidney’s birth, and my husband really did an amazing job supporting me throughout it. I am so glad that my sister was able to be there as well, as there’s no one else (besides Sean, of course) I’d have rather shared that moment with than her.

Dr. Wade knew I was afraid of another severe tear this time, and she worked to make sure that didn’t happen. Although I did end up needing two stitches, the tear was really very minor and my recovery has been a breeze, something I’m very thankful for as I’m just days away from being by myself with all four girls each day!