The girls have been fighting more and more lately, and beyond simple bickering, I think it’s because they’re taking each other for granted. I have a great relationship with my little sister (even though she’s 9 years younger than me!), and it’s very, very important to us that our girls value their relationships with one another as well.
A while back, I read this tip (I’m fairly certain it was on the Sonlight forums), but at the time my girls were still too little and it didn’t really work very well for us.
However, this week when the girls have been fighting, we make them sit in time out and hold hands until they’re ready to be kind to each other, and this is pretty much how it goes every time:
So far it’s worked every time!
What do you do to foster strong relationships between your kids?
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Hmmmmmm …. I think we may have to give this a try at our house. Thank you! I think maybe even my dh and I could benefit from reaching out and holding hands when we are having a disagreement, too
My little sister is 9 years younger than me and she is one of my best friends, too! Mandi, I just love how I’m finding out that you and I have so much in common
Hope you’re having a wonderful Monday!
My kids have been fighting like cats and dogs lately, too. I’m going to try this today. I’ll let you know if it works or they rip each others hands off!
I LOVE THIS!
One of my favorite tips from a mom is about when kids are fighting over a toy—you take the toy away and say, “Sisters/Brothers are more important than this toy.” Basically, showing that if a toy is coming b/w their relationship, we won’t have it!
Love the series of pics! A little challenged by Kara’s suggestion of spouses doing the same type of time out.
Me too, Bethany, me too!
Amanda, I’ve done that in theory, but never with that exact wording, and I LOVE it. Thank you!
Mandi,
I love that idea. My kids have been at each other a lot lately too. And I have been trying to figure out what to do with them. Is it a full moon?
I did find a great post over at Carries blog The parenting passageway on Sibling fighting here is the link it has helped me in dealing with my 7 year olds.
http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/04/09/sibling-fighting/
Oh my goodness! How I love the idea (and the pictures)! What a great mom you are! Love you!
Love this idea! I’m going to try it with my 13 and 9 year olds! I have a feeling it will solve their problems with each other really quickly!!
Awwww! I love it! That first picture rings many bells in our home!!
Will be trying this.
Great tip! My daughter’s are 4.5 and 3 as well and they drive me CRAZY some days. I should try this in the car when they are fighting over something. They sit next to each other and this just might work!
thanks!
We do something similar – when my boys (8 and 6) are fighting a lot, I’ll send them to the “enemy chair” and they have to sit back to back on the chair (or the floor if we’re not around the chair) for as long as they want to continue acting like enemies. When they are ready to be friends and to treat each other respectuflly, they can get up and go play again. Works pretty well – they rarely sit there more than a minute or so before they are up laughing and playing again like the best of friends! Usually goes along with one of a few Bible verses that fit the situation.
We also do the thing where the offending toy is taken away with the same talk about toys not being more importnant than friends.
Benny
What a great idea! I’m definitely going to have to do this.
I do a couple things to “try” to help them see each other as teammates rather than rivals.
1. If they are arguing, they need to go to their room (they share a room) and they can’t come out until they speak and act kindly to one another. If they argue again, back they go.
2. If they can’t work it out, and I need to intervene, I tell them they’ll have to hire me as a lawyer. I charge $0.50 per issue. I’m a pretty poor lawyer because they always seem to figure out their own solution before breaking open their piggy banks.
Of course, I think it’s important to know whether one child always gives in or if they are truly working out a mutual solution. For my children, one can occasionally be bossy, so I sometimes need them to communicate their “solutions” to me to ensure fairness.
I love reading all of these other great ideas to add to my bag of tricks. Thanks!
Great idea! I had heard about a similar thing when couples are fighting – they hold hands while having an argument, which reminds them that to look into each others’ eyes, that they’re talking to someone they love, and makes sure they’re really focused and not multitasking.
Hello! I just stumbled upon your pro blog and moved on to your personal blog and I just have to tell you that your family is absolutely beautiful and I so enjoyed going through all of your pictures and stories.
Your pro blog is wonderful as well.
You do a great job keeping up with your apparently very busy life.
Oh, and I love your house!
Take care,
Suzy
Our girls are older, 16 and 13. We have two different things we do when they are squabbling. I will ask, of what they are saying is kind, true and necessary. Also, if they are really angry with each other and not ready to let it go, they do a chore together. I become common enemy and the chore becomes the dreaded thing, not each other.
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