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To my Doodles:

Phew. It’s been a busy, emotional and at times stressful few weeks, huh? Three weeks of stomach flu with various colds mixed in is bad enough, but since your Daddy’s been hit the hardest, I’ve been trying my best to hold things together, make all of the Christmas gifts, get my work done and still enjoy you every day!

It’s also been very emotional. A dear family friend of Mommy’s died last Sunday, and it was a shock that I still haven’t gotten over. And then, in the second heart-stopping phone call of the week, Daddy’s MomMom died just a couple of days ago. It’s been hard explaining that to you. Pumpkin Doodle reminded me that we were supposed to see her on Christmas, but both of you big girls seem content with the knowledge that we’ll see her again one day in Heaven. How thankful I am to be able to assure you of that!

I love how compassionate and empathetic both of you are – giving Daddy hugs and rubbing his head and wondering how sad everybody is because they miss MomMom.

Everything seemed to come to a head this morning while I was trying to do some Christmas baking (it’s been on the calendar for months!) but everyone was falling apart and Daddy couldn’t help because he’s still so sick. I turned into Momzilla on you, and I’m so sorry. I finally realized what was happening and packed my baking away to give you girls a bath, and I laid my head on the tub and prayed and cried. I loved, sweet Monkey Doodle, when you leaned over and rubbed my shoulder with your tiny hand. It’s so true that you girls are always quick to forgive and always willing to forget and move on. Thank you for that.

Sweet Doodle, you’ve been mostly just going with the flow these past few weeks except for your turns with the stomach flu – last week and then the return visit on Friday. You were so pitiful when you didn’t feel good, just laying on mommy and heaving throughout the morning. I wish I could take all of your sickness away so you never had to go through that again!

Tonight as I was rocking you before bed, you hummed Rock a Bye Baby and Lullaby while I sang, and it was enough to make my heart swell and burst. I’m looking forward to holding another little baby in 7 or 8 months, but I’m not ready for you to stop being my baby yet!

It’s a privilege to be your Mommy, and I love you all more than words can say. We’ve been reminded twice this week that life is fleeting and precious, and I don’t ever want to forget that.