Just for the Record…
I’m pretty sure this post will be neither unique nor eloquent, and you may have read similar rants on other blogs (or, ahem, on this one) before.
This week, we attended a family funeral. I am very obviously pregnant at this point, and time and again we received compliments on our beautiful girls, followed quickly by “the question.”
You know the one.
“Is it a boy this time?”
“Is it a boy..I HOPE?!”
“Oh, another girl? Are you going to keep trying for a boy?”
“How does your poor husband feel about that?”
The worst part is that these comments are always made in front of our girls, as if they’re not good enough for their Daddy.
So – for the record – we are not disappointed that we are having another girl.
Not even a little bit.
Sure, I’ve tried to imagine what it would be like to have a tiny baby boy and all that jazz, but by the time we went to our ultrasound, I was really kind of hoping for another girl. I’m not sure Sean really cares one way or the other, but he definitely is not a “gotta have me a son” type of man, and since God has blessed us with all these girls, I sure am glad!
So, I spent all day Wednesday reminding my girls how lucky we are to have all these girls, even though I only got to use my standard comeback to the “your poor husband” comment once…”Nah, he’s okay. He loves being king of the house.” And it’s true!
Thankfully, we ended the day on a good note when a man asked us if it was true that we were having another girl. I braced myself as I smiled and told him that yep, we were, and he responded with an enthusiastic, “Excellent!”
Yes, sir. Excellent indeed.
I can relate to this, being the mom of three girls. I don’t get comments often, but had two of them yesterday. One at Costco was actually kind of cute yesterday. A gentleman giving free samples said, “You look like you need to find the girls’ section,” with a sweet smile on his face.
We have 2 good friends who actually live right next door to each other. Between them they have 8 girls under 8! Everyone asks them if they are disappointed with all those girls, too. They tell everyone that they would actually feel sorry for a boy in that mix!
And another good thing about my friends having all those girls…my son will never be without a prom date!
Marci@OvercomingBusy’s last blog post..Recipe organization
If I had a dollar for every time I have heard this one… not to mention the ones who ask me about my sister-in-law… she has four girls! I have three girls, I want more children, and we aren’t going to “try” for either one. All we want is a healthy baby, boy or girl, we do not care!
I love my girls, and would not trade them for anything else!
Amy’s last blog post..Nifty Stuff I Love…
I get the same thing every day. Except I have three boys and am pregnant with #4. Only we never find out until birth who will pop out so people are crazy with anticipation that we may have a girl this time. I really don’t care at all, fully anticipate we’re having another boy and did not get pregnant in the hopes of having a girl this time. I, too, find it a bit offensive that my boys aren’t “good enough”. I also think people are slightly MORE horrified when you have all boys. All girls seems okay to many, but all boys seems like it must be “horrible”. I get a lot of “Oh my GOD, all boys!” as if they are wrestling me to the floor at all times (nope, only most of the time!)
We got the same thing all the time - only the opposite - when I was pregnant with my fourth after three boys. And now that we do have a little girl, we get tons of “Oh you FINALLY got that girl!” or “Boy, you really had to work hard to get that girl, huh?” and all that jazz. And it was so frustrating when I was pregnant (not knowing if it was a boy or a girl and so tired of the comments - as you said, always made in front of our boys!). One nurse at the pediatricians office actually referred to little boys as “birth control” - right in front of my sons!
So all this to say, it’s not whether you have boys or girls that people seem shocked by. It’s more that people really don’t seem to think it’s possible to be happy with only one gender of child, and even more than that I think people can’t imagine you wanting that many children in general. So I get the feeling they think we just “endure” having a loarger family in the hopes of “finally” getting one of the other gender.
What’s sad is that people really do not realize they are even being rude. They just feel conversational. I do hope all the talks we have with our kids work though, and that they do not feel weird in some way just because they are blessed to be in a large family, and even moreso to be blessed into a family with lots of brothers - or sisters as your case may be!
I think four girls will be so much fun. You are very blessed, and I’m sure your husband will very much enjoy the role of King as they grow!
Benny
Benny’s last blog post..Nine years later…
Oh! I feel for you so much. I am the mom of three girls (8,6 & 3) and throughout my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies that was all I heard. I was just commenting to my husband today that I am so happy that I am at peace with the three healthy and beautiful girls that God blessed us with. The dynamics in our family would be so different with a boy in the house. And by now, everything we own is for little girls. A boy would look awfully funny riding a pink bicycle down the street.
“One nurse at the pediatricians office actually referred to little boys as “birth control” - right in front of my sons!”
Seriously??? That is crazy. I’m contemplating a 3rd BECAUSE of my sweet little boy! He’s such a snuggly little bundle… even at 21 months!
I have one of each right now, and I love both of them. My SIL has 4 boys, and they are great too(although her house is a little crazy most of the time!). People who ask questions like you’re all referring too… it’s kind of like the “wow, you must be due any day” question, you know, when you still have a good 8 weeks or so to go! Or the lady in the grocery store who told me, “wow, you’re belly button is popping out, you must be ready to pop”. Ummm, no, I wasn’t. My belly button just sticks out the last half of my pregnancies.
Bottom line: children are a blessing, regardless of gender. Too bad not everyone can see that…
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, and don’t let the naysayers steal your joy.
Just wanted to say thanks for the post! Just found out last week we are having girl #4! We got a lot of “are you hoping for a boy” or “how is your husband doing” (after finding out it was another girl) “We’re just praying for a healthy baby, either gender will be great!”
I think 4 girls will be fun! yeah, it will get interesting in the teen years, but I think/hope they will all be close and life will just be fun!
Mandi,
I got the same thing when I was pregnant w/ boy#4. Most people just don’t get it. We’ve also been asked if we’re going to try again for a girl…baby boy is just 3 mo old. They’re just blessings no matter the gender. Enjoy your girls!
Oh, you took the words right out of my mouth, but beautifully written. I have 3 girls and we have always taken our babies, one by one…without a “set” number of how many we wanted. After Baby Girl #3 we didn’t “feel done” having babies. We had one more, a sweet and very active baby boy, and yes, we are done now. Our family feels complete (and our van is full!) but not from a boy, but another child. Just like you, in front of the girls, all the “you got your boy”, “finally a boy” oh, your husband got it right this time..” etc, comments. We always followed it up with saying we would have been happy with another girl too! Good luck with all your princesses.