Jess from Making Home is this week’s guest blogger on praying for our families. Jess regularly writes about all things home and family, taking a sometimes hard look at what the Bible calls us to do…even when it’s countercultural. Besides being an amazing writer and passionate for God, she is also incredibly sweet, kind and caring. Below, she shares how she and her husband regularly pray for the character of each of their children.

First, thanks, Mandi for asking me to write this! I hope something I share can help someone else to pray more effectively for their children. For me, praying for our kids has become centered on a few verses:

James 1:5- “But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should pray to God, who gives freely to all.”

Proverbs 22:6- “Train up a child in the way he should go.”

So when praying for our kids, I spend a lot of time asking for wisdom (for my husband and I as their parents, AND for them), because I really do believe God answers that prayer– so we ask for wisdom often and with faith. And then the other verse reveals a need for having an idea of the way our children should go. As they grow, I have gained more and more insight into the *specific* builds of our kids… some are social, some less so, some have minds like sponges, others have a knack for building and working with their hands.

But aside from those individual abilities and personalities, there is a general, across-the-board “way they should go” that I can and do pray for each child God gives us… pertaining to their character. When our first son was born, my husband and I spent time brainstorming the kinds of character qualities we were shooting for… you can do this too- by searching for this or reading through the Scriptures. Look at descriptions of Jesus, and descriptions of godly biblical characters… and make your list. It can be up to a paragraph, but the KEY is that
you use words that you will remember… so that you can pray them anywhere, anytime. Because as a mom, you’re not often just sitting in one place, always having some list or page in front of you. So, if it’s five words, or a key phrase or two, whatever it is, pick something that you’ll remember, so that if you’re driving down the road, laying in bed, sitting in the nursery nursing your baby during a church service, or wherever, you’ll be able to recall those character aims you’re shooting for and pray them over the children God has given.

For example, yours might be based on the verses that describe Jesus’ growing up years:

“God, help our son to grow in stature, and in favor with God and man. Teach him to spend time learning about Your Word, and learning from the wise, godly men You put in his life.”

Or you might choose to use one of the famous lists from the Bible, like the Beatitudes or the Fruit of the Spirit.

I’ve taken character qualities from throughout the Bible and compiled them into a list we’re shooting for… let me see if I can bring it to mind without going back and looking at the Word Doc where I saved it…

“Father, make our children men and women of integrity who follow wholeheartedly as disciples of Jesus. Teach them Your ways, and help them to love and trust Your Word. Let them be honest, loving, kind, generous people who have a heart for the things that You love.” For the boys, I pray that they will learn what it means to be a godly husband and father, and that they will learn to follow Christ and sacrifice themselves for the people they love. For my girl (I have one so far), my prayer is that she will learn to be hospitable, to love serving others, and to find her worth in Christ.

But your goals may differ from mine– and that’s OK. The key, for me, is taking our goals from Scripture and praying them over our children throughout their lives… having a “character blueprint”, so to speak, that we’re shooting for. That way, whenever there’s a lull, whenever we find ourselves prompted to pray for our children, we have immediate goals that we know we’re going for, and we can voice those prayers to God with faith that these are things that He, too, wants to see in our children as they grow.

And yes, I still do random, spur-of-the-moment prayers for our children… and no, I don’t always pray by rote or memorization… but this is one way that I’ve found to be sure that I’m praying for the right things. I hope it helps some of you too.